I am Stronger!!

I'm glad I came here to west malaysia and work, I seen alot, i learned alot, and i experience alot.. here..Even though it was few months only..i travel to many states...seen alot..lika alot of things..Previously in kk I was burned out..so have to go and chong ban to wake my self up..haha

Being in kl made me stronger...stronger in the inside...alot of people thinks that People change if they leave home cause its a new place, but I can say that they are WRONG..cause it all depends how you bring your self..how you control your self. Yes, temptation is always around. Like i said, depends how you control your self. If you know where You're from, know who you are and what you are, Know your identity you wont fall into temptations. haha..I know..actions speaks louder than words right? haha...It between me and God..Not you guys..haha..

I learn how to look in different points of view..Thinking out of the box..like whats 1+1? 2 right? haha...but why cant it be 11? get what i mean? haha..wouldn't you see things differently? make sense right? Never stop learning..Do i sound like an old man nagging? =.= haha i'm done...

AND I MISS CHURCH!! G.k...D.C...KK!! HOME!!! haha

"Dont let the surrounding change your life, but use your life to change the surrounding"

A holiday..

         Have ever feel that you wanna leave kk and all the problems behind just for a day and have a break with your close friends somewhere far? lol...alot has been happening lately..between friends, family and even myself..problem after problem..haha..I just feel hopeless...sometimes I just stop and stare...not knowing what to do... (luckily me and my friends planned to go for a holiday trip and I'm looking forward to it cause its the time I just wanna relax my mind and get away from all the problems at the same time)

         Well, Sunday afternoon after church, me and my close friends went for a trip to melinsung Summer Bay Papar. 9 of us went.. We start our journey at 3pm..stopped by Putatan Servay Supermaket to buy food for our BBQ for the night:) bought lamd, chicken wings, sausages, eggs, alot more..lol..arrived at about 430pm..checked in to our small apartment..(it was suppose to be a 3pax room but we cramped 9 people in haha) Arrived, settle down...arrange the room and all..and I notice everybody was enjoying..laying around playing with laptops..talking..I notice no one was preparing the food...(a problem popped up) So I took initiative to start marinating the food...then only some of them offered to help..I was not mad or complaining though..lol...We start barbequing at about 7something at the car porch..I grilled the lambs...some of them help me, some on the wings..everybody was having a fun time.. I need to be firmed on them, saying no one eats anything till everything is cooked...haha...and hour later, done cooking...we ate, crack jokes, bullied one of us...haha...in a fun way of course..after eating..rubbish was all around..bones..yada yada..cleared up..haha jeng jeng jeng!! (another problem popped up again) Who will bath first?? haha...I voiced out, go by alphabet...everybody agreed..and after bathing..dota, chatting, playing cards was the activities for d night..some of the slept at 4am..dota freaks..haha..some knocked out earlier..haha..i was one of them..

            The next morning....everybody woke up...talking and laughing..I was lying down just listening to them talk and laugh...Some say they were hungry d...but nobody was moving their butt to go cook something..(another problem pepped up again)so i got up..started frying sausages...my friend helped me..i asked one of them to go buy maggie...so i can fry them for breakfast..another friend of mine fried omelet..haha we all ate happily..after eating.. we played basketball..went to the beach to chill...cut the story short, we cheked out at about 5 pm...went to papar for a heavy high tea..haha...we ate like hungry ghosts..haha..On our way back, I was thinking about our trip what happen...how fun it was.. and I realize something funny.. I went for that trip to get away from big problems that is happening in kk..but I realize that in the holiday trip, problems tend to pop up..small small problems...well, its still problem right? haha..and i sense that God is telling me..no matter where you go, no matter where your are, who you're with? Problems will always pop out.. no matter big or small.. I learned that to solve a problem, I must take Initiative to make the first move first..by doing it, then only problems can be solve..no matter how big or small, we can solve it . INITIATIVE!

I guess my trip was worthied after all:) cause I learned something new! we must never stop learning how to be a better person each day. Cause no one is perfect..I'm gonna solve all the problems i'm facing now in kk..one by one...muahahahaha...problems....HERE I COME!!! :)

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        A close friend of mine said I've changed..said i'm not the Golden he used to know.. Hearing that from a close friend of your own is kinda hurting though..cause your close friends are the ones suppose to understand you than anyone else..am I right? I took some time and thought about what he said, and I finaly find out why..

      This is what I think, I grew up in military school "my home" since young. It started when i was 13..cause the end of year 2000 is a big turning point for my family including me..my dad was working on a big project..which will earn a big amount of money...but after finishing the project, my dad cant collect d payments from them..and dad sued them..and when all that happen, everything starts to fall apart...everything that revolves around me starts to fall apart...to cut the story short, we sold everything we owned..and move to a smaller house..moving from a Semi-D with alot of stuff in it, to a small empty apartment? what a big change.. when we first moved in, we have nothing..only beds..a few cooking utensils..no tv...sad aye? Dad dint just lay around at home..Dad started doing smal smal construction jobs for people..dad has no car that time..he took buses to work..i took bus to school..mom started sewing..i started carving stickers in school to make my own pocket money...haha..in one week can earn bout 200 bucks..seldom ask cash from dad..for d whole year of form 1 i sold stickers i carved..dads busines slowly moving up...thanks to some good friends of his who helped us alot..lending us their axtra car..blessing us food and stuff..but it was just enough to make ends meet..dad saved up some money to get a van..haha..i quit school when i was 14..i helped my dad with his business...going around doing plumbing works..renovations..whole year of my 14..i worked my butt off...haha..things starts to go well at home...new tv...sofa set...dining table...and other stuff...its was kinda tough for me though..working at 14...I went through hell that whole year...but i dint forget bout my studies...i did a home study my self when i was 15..one year behind..haha..a.mag n mel helped me by giving me test papers to do though...and i wanted to take my PMR test that year too..but i felt i wasn't ready yet..so i waited another year..working during the day while studying at home at night...well, not everynight =) just sometimes..boys aye? haha..i told me dad i want to stop working for a while.and really wanna go full swing on my studies..my parents was very encouraging..not forgetting A.mag, Mel, isaac vun and some friends..they encourage me..supported me...guide me in my studies..yada yada yada...I passed my PMR exam..after passing, I dint just let it be..I wanted to go back to school..and I did..Likas High..graduated there...and after school, there was alot of job offers though..but i chose to work for my dad...a year later, dad has knee problem and cant work..so he passed his business to me..as in everything..supporting the family needs..house rents n stuff..at d age of 19...big responsibility aye? I thought so too..I shared this to some of my friends..they understand what i was going through..they supported me too. I struggled alot..face alot of ups and downs in business..dint gave up...I pushed through the first year..By God's grace, I did..haha..i was never short when it comes to payments or bills..but for my self, yeah sometimes I am short of money..for my self haha..but somehow..I managed it..

             I was kinda envy towards my friends..cause at my age, they are enjoying what they do..working normal jobs...no big responsibility for them...i sort of dint go through a normal teenage life..I grew up hardcore..I did complain to God though...asking...WHY??? haha...He dint answer my question..but He showed me instead..it took me sometime to realize it..haha..i realize that, what I've gone through since young made me more matured..more open..more understanding in life..its all more, more, more and more in me...I see my self different from other teens who are almost the same age as me..God showed me that..haha..I thank God for that..Golden dint change..but upgraded..haha..lol... so yeah...short and simple bout my life..:) trust God people..Just Trust Him..

new one..

Is this what you wanted?

I’ve lost my direction.

I am nothing now, and I’m all alone now

The only sound I hear is my heart beating deep inside me.

Come back to me

My heart longs for you

I feel so small without you

Everything means nothing at all.

I don’t want to be alone

Please feel my pain.

Is this what you wanted?

You left me without saying goodbye

It feels so different without you by my side

Is it really over? Can’t we start over?

Come back to me

My heart longs for you

I feel so small without you

Everything means nothing at all.

I don’t want to be alone

Please feel my pain.

comments please